| The Virtual Rainbow | ||||||||||||||||||||
| Along the path of life!! |
THis is me! I am a 22 year old famale from the midwest of the USA!! I currently reside in Indiana where I retty much grew up, and my family is here, but I have had many journey away from here along my path! I am blond, and have blue eyes, I am 5'4" and I weight 105 pounds..in the UK, that would be like 7.5 stones! I like to read, write, draw, and paint! I am the mother of one, a little boy named Patrick, and I am also a lesbian! I am an interior designer, and I am currently enrolled in the top design school in America! It is in the heart of NYC, and I am doing it as a distant learning student! I do have a wonderful most magnificant girlfriend who I love very much...Even though she does drive me crazy with her many sides! She is in GA, attending school, and our communications are generally through the net, or on the phone! After my last phone bill, I wouls swear that talking on the phone is all that I got accomplished last month! I am taking this time though, to tell people about my life, the woman in my life, and things that I like, and do not like! I am greatly sorry if any of this is offensive, or rude in any way! I am a very forward person, and very much outspoken! I like things my way, and I am ...or so I have been told...that I am a hard and difficult person! I am very open about my life, and very kind and loving! I open my heart to those who deserve it, and often times, to those who do not deserve it! I have had my heart broken many times along this bumpy trail we call life, and I am now finally accepting the fact that this is all a part of living! I know now how to look out for myself, or so I tell myself that I know how, but I do try to look out for my heart! I am a very fragile, and sensitive, over emotional peron, so if these pages get too deep, flood boots may be required!! ------------------------------ I grew up in a very very rough home! It was full of violence, drugs, and abuse! I do not blame this on myself, nor do I blame this on my mother...however, I used to very much! I now look at it that I was a victim of sad scircumstance, and there is nothing that I could/can do about my childhood, except tell others out there about it, and let them know, that ..."you are not alone"!! I spent many night laying awake in bed, wishing that the Lord could take me out of this horrible place, and make it all better, but I guess he had better plans for me! He chose to make me suffer for my parents mistakes, and he gave me reasons to live...some of wich I am beginning to understand! By the time I was 15, I was being shuffled from family member to family member, and I was settled in my grandmothers house where I would live until I mived out on my own! Being in my families home was very hrd on me as a ch8ild, and it is even harder on me as an adult! I can not wash away the thoughts, and the visions that I see in my dreams at night about the screaming, the breaking of glass, the harsh words, and the milestones that I must now face dealing with the life that I lived! I spent many days growing up in school, and doing so with brusies that were hidden, and those that were not so easily hidden! Those were the ones that were on the face! People thought that I had gotten into a "cat fight" with a class mate..I did have anger problems then...but who wouldn't??!!...but they were not peer wounds, but more like wounds from a violent man who could get away with it! This man has ruined my life! My trust in people! In society, in myself, in public places, and fear of the world in which I live! It is no life for anyone to live, but for some reason, I seem to wake up to it everyday! THe same things..the same nightmares, and the same dredded feeling in the pit of my stomach! ------------------------------ My mother is now finally divorced, and living on her own...well, she has a boyfriend who is alays there..He is great!...and a dog that belongs to him! They look so happy together! and I can not explain the joy that I feel within myself, that I feel when I see my mother happy! It is a huge load off of my back, and Bruce, if you ever read this, I want you to know that I thank you in so many ways for loving my mom, and for being there for her when she needs a hug at night! SHe may not tell you in enough ways, but she tells me...SHE LOVES YOU!!..Don't ever let her go!....... | |||||||||||||||||||
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| Well, lets see here, I have such a rambled mind, tht never stays on one track for very long, but beings that this part is all about Me, Elise, and our relationship, I think that I should be able to think clearly enough to get through it !! Elise!! She is so beautiful! I met her online...hard to admit that, but I did! I never knew that you could fall in love with a computer fling, but I did! She lives in GA, which really made me feel crazy for persuing a relationship with her, and she is also a closet case! sheesh, I am really pushing my luck now!! Anyway, I felt for along time that I was married to this damn computer! I litterally was on here all of the time! I couldnot get enough of this girl! I trusted her, and she trusted me! my email box was always full from sweet charming letters from her, and we would send packages through regular mail! Finally one day...me never knowing when and how, or why my mind works the way that it does, I got this brilliant idea in my head to hop in the car, and drive to Atlanta to see her! that is what I did! I hopped in the car with Jeremy, and off we went...Jeremy is my bestfriend, and my sons father!! What a trip it was!! We arrived in Atl at like 6am, and I called her from a gas station to meet me! It was the first meeting for us!! It was great! She showed us all around the town, and we went for breakfast! It was wonderful! I could finally smell the scent of her hair! Touch her soft face! And hold her while she slept...or actually, I think that she held me while I slept!...she is never going to let me live that one down!! It was a brilliant weekend, and I feel her in my arms everynight as I close my eyes at night! Although she is miles away from me, we are still just as close! One day soon, I am going to take my family, and start a new life there with her! I can not wait for that magical moment...when the alarm clock rings in the fresh of the AM, and she is silently laying there in my bed...nest to me...comforted, and protected, and so much in love!!! | Elise and I!!! | |||||||||||||||||||
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| my life...scary as it may be...mysteries unfolded!! | Well, let me see, I am a 22 year old female, and I am a true lesbian...however, I do have a son! He was born on November in 1995! He will turn 4 very soon! I am 5'4, and I weight 105 pounds! if you are from the UK and are reading this, that is I think about 7.5 stones! I love to paint, draw, and read! For a living, I am an interior designer, and I am currently taking a distance learning program from one of the top school for interior design from an institute in the heart of NYC!!I have a lot of dreams in my life, and a lot of aspirations! But, I think that my number one goal in my life right now, is to get where I am wanting to be...mentally speaking that is, and help my son to grow up to be a 100% gentleman! The job of being a mother is a full time job, and about three part time jobs all put together ! I would not trade it for the life of me, but it can at times...more often than not, be challenging!! In my free time in Indiana...wich is actually quite often, I like to play with my son, and do a lot of crafty things around the house, and use the telephone...A LOT...my last telephone bill proved that!! My latest trip has been to go to Georgia where I spent the weekend wit hmy Girlfriend! She is going to college there, and I had to see her! She is also the reason for my passion for the telephone! God bless Mr. Bell for his wisdom!! | |||||||||||||||||||
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